Relationship coaching in Vancouver · Online in English and French

The same fight. The same silence. The same pattern, however hard you try.

I help individuals and couples who can’t seem to break the patterns that keep repeating, even after years of searching for answers. I’m Eric Bensoussan, a certified relationship coach and nervous system specialist, and for more than 13 years I’ve worked where those patterns actually live: in the body. Sessions are online, in English or French, and begin with a free Clarity Session.

Find what you’re going throughBook a free Clarity Session
Eric Bensoussan, relationship coach, sitting among the trees in Vancouver

“For the first time, I feel calm in love instead of anxious about losing it.”

Daniel, client
13+years coaching
Hundredsof individuals and couples
Onlinewherever you live
EN · FRsessions in English or French
Free guide · Not ready to book? Start here.

How Your Body Learns to Feel Safe in Love

Why the same patterns keep repeating, and what your body needs to feel safe in love.

How I can help

What brings you here?

Choose the one that sounds most like you. Each page explains what is happening underneath and how we would work on it together.

The same fight“We keep having the same argument.”The topic changes, but the way it escalates and the way it ends never do.Read more → Feeling disconnected“We feel more like roommates than partners.”The closeness faded slowly, and neither of you knows how to find your way back to it.Read more → Anxious and avoidant“One of us chases, the other pulls away.”The closer one of you moves, the further the other retreats, and both of you end up feeling alone.Read more → When they go quiet“I panic when they pull away.”One unanswered text, and your whole body is on alert until you hear back.Read more → Losing yourself“I disappear in every relationship.”You become whoever they need you to be, then wonder where you went.Read more → Saving your marriage“I’m not sure our marriage will make it.”You still care deeply, but you are running out of ways to try.Read more →

Going through a breakup or divorce? Start here

Why the pattern keeps coming back

I spent more than twenty years in therapy before anyone pointed me toward the place my patterns were actually stored. I could describe my attachment style in detail, and still my chest would tighten and my words would disappear the moment a partner pulled away. The reaction was never a lack of effort or insight. It was my nervous system doing exactly what it had learned to do.

You’re not in a relationship with your partner. You’re in a relationship with your nervous system’s story about your partner.

Eric Bensoussan

Whatever brought you here

The work follows three steps.

The fight, the silence and the shutdown look different on the surface. Underneath, it is the same body trying to stay safe, and that is where we begin.

  1. 01

    Regulate

    Learn to recognize when your body has gone into survival mode, and how to bring it back to calm with simple grounding and somatic tools.

  2. 02

    Rewire

    Help your body unlearn the chasing, pleasing or withdrawing it once relied on, and build responses rooted in trust and choice.

  3. 03

    Reconnect

    Practice staying open, speaking your truth, and letting love feel safe enough to receive.

Read about my approach →

In their words

They came in with the same problem.

Read all client stories
Daniel B., coaching clientDaniel B.Saving a marriage

“I started working with Eric at a point where my life was falling apart. My marriage was failing, I was unhappy with work and I felt like I had no control.”

“I have been able to begin communicating with my wife at a whole new level and we’re slowly rebuilding our marriage on a new, stronger foundation.”

Anger, resentment and fear
“I had seen multiple counselors and self help professionals, none of them gave me tools that Eric did to help me on a day to day basis.”
Sunny L., coaching clientSunny L.
After a separation
“I was going through separation after a 20 year marriage and I didn’t like myself very much. Four years on, I still meet with Eric to remind myself of what I’m capable of.”
Ashley, coaching clientAshley
Portrait of Eric Bensoussan, relationship coach

Meet your guide

Hi, I’m Eric.

Certified Relationship Coach and Nervous System Specialist · Vancouver

For years I watched people do all the right work and still stay stuck. Through my own years of searching I found what was missing: the nervous system, and the reason patterns repeat no matter how much insight you have.

I know these patterns from the inside. I was the one who pulled away, who kept the peace at my own expense, and it took two divorces before I understood what my body had been protecting me from. That is what I bring to every session.

About me and my approach →

Coaching

Private coaching, online, at your pace.

See all coaching options →
Couple embracingCouples CoachingFor partners who want to find their way back to each other.Explore → Woman reflecting by a windowIndividual CoachingFor changing the pattern you bring into every relationship.Explore → Couple standing back to backDivorce or Breakup CoachingFor when it has ended on paper but not yet in your body.Explore → Family talking togetherFamily CoachingFor families ready to stop passing down what they inherited.Explore →

Free Clarity Session · Online

Tell me what keeps happening.

I help individuals and couples break the patterns that keep repeating.

Whether it is the same fight, the silence after it, or the way you disappear in love, one honest conversation is enough to name the pattern underneath it and see what would genuinely help.

Book your free Clarity Session

Have questions first? Read the FAQ

  1. 1Tell me what brought you hereWhen you book, you choose the situation closest to yours, so I arrive already understanding it.
  2. 2We look beneath the surfaceTogether we name the pattern that keeps repeating and where it lives in your body.
  3. 3You leave with a clear next stepWhether that is working with me or not.
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